Jesucita Rey (00:00.)
Hi ladies, it's Jesucita Robinson. Welcome back to Charm School dropout. And today we're going to be talking about choice and change. In a lot of the episodes that I do, I talk about choice and change and I thought it would be a good idea to go over what that is. This is basically an episode about what do you fear? What is stopping you? What is making you stop in your tracks?

trying to accomplish your dreams in your life. What is that? And fear, a lot of times with us when we're trying to move forward, is change. Humans have a very hard time when it comes to change. We want to stay in our comfort zones. We want to stay where it's safest. And the issue with that is that's never going to get you to the life that you want, okay?

That's never going to get you what you're looking for, what you're striving for, what you're working towards every single day. It's not going to get you there. If you stay exactly where you are for the rest of your life, then that's all you're going to get. And you're already there. So you already know what you're going to get for the rest of your life. If you stay there. Okay. Choice and change are your superpowers in this world, but they also

cause a lot of anxiety and a lot of fear. You will fear these things because they're new, because you don't know what the outcome is, and there's a possibility that you're going to fail. Now in a previous episode, we talked about how failure is not this horrible negative thing that you've got going on in your life that's out to get you. Okay? Failure is actually a positive thing as long as you learn something from the fail.

Okay? You have to learn something when you fall down, when you fail, when you start learning those things, it makes you stronger to build you up, to get you back on track to building the life that you want.

Jesucita Rey (02:14.921)
So when it comes to choice and change, like I said, it's your greatest superpower in the world. But most people in the world don't use choice and change. And the reason that they don't is because it brings fear. It brings anxiety. It brings not knowing what the future has to hold. And for humans, like I said, that can be incredibly, incredibly scary. It can be fricking terrifying. Just to the point where that's what stops you dead in your tracks is that. And you don't move any further. You stay in your comfort zone.

space in the world and you never move forward. You never move forward.

Jesucita Rey (02:51.465)
What if you actually did change? What if you made a choice to change?

Jesucita Rey (03:01.705)
Who knows what could happen? Who knows what your life could be like? What if you decided that you were going to take that course that you knew you were going to have a really hard time with?

You have no idea what happens if you decide that you don't want to stay in your hometown anymore and you're going to move somewhere else. What could happen?

I mean, you really don't know what your possibilities are in this world unless you go out into God's great big world and see it. I mean, he made it for you to go and look out at the world. He made it for you to go and see what you could become, what your dreams are to accomplish who you were meant to be.

That is huge. That is, you have been given the greatest superpowers in the world. You can make your life seriously anything that you want it to be. No questions asked. Is it going to be hard? We talk about that every single episode. Yes. Anything worth anything in this life is going to be a struggle. You're going to have to...

work for it. You cannot be lazy. You cannot be laying there saying, oh, well, this world owes me because I was born. Bullshit! This world has never functioned that way and it never will. But as I tell you all the time, you're amazing, beautiful woman. You can accomplish this. Don't let society tell you that you can't. Don't let your family tell you that you can't. Don't let your friends or your coworkers or the haters on social media.

Jesucita Rey (04:43.657)
Don't let any of those people tell you that you can't accomplish this, but the number one factor that will make sure that you fail every single time that you, every single time is not making the choices to change. To not make those choices and to not go after the changes in order to get you to that goal in that life that you want.

You will stay stagnant. You will stay exactly where you are for the rest of your life. And the issue comes in when you have these big dreams. And I've told you before, dream big. Dream so big that nobody is going to be able to understand how big your dream actually is. Dream big. Dream huge. Okay. Don't dream small. Don't dream small. It's not worth your time. It's not worth your effort. Dream.

Big. Okay?

Jesucita Rey (05:45.769)
But the thing about it is, is if you let choice and change go because of the fear that stops you, like I said, you're never gonna move forward. You're never gonna get there. So how do you begin to deal with choice and change? Because like I said, it can be fricking terrifying. You don't know what the outcome is gonna be. And there are a lot of outside sources, including that voice in your head.

that's going to tell you, whoa, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. No, this isn't safe. I don't like this. I don't like this. This isn't my comfort zone. I want to stay in my comfort zone. Right. So in order to be able to deal with choice and change, a lot of times, a lot of times people try and go right out the door. And that's fine if you have that kind of willpower. But for a lot of people, discipline has to be taught to yourself.

Okay, discipline has to be taught to you. You have to teach yourself discipline. Okay? And when that occurs, one of the ways that I have come to find is...

start small in the very beginning. If you feel that you can run right out the gate and you're going to be able to keep the discipline, not the motivation, not the motivation, the actual discipline to get shit done every single day, even when you don't feel like it, fine, no problem, dude, go get it. You're a badass, go get it. But if there is some shit going on in your life right now where you're just like, I, that's way too overwhelming for me. That's, you know, I can't accomplish that. Start out.

smaller. Okay, it's just like when people start going to the gym for the first time, you know, and they're all motivated. They don't have their discipline yet. They're all motivated because they're going to do something that's going to benefit them. They're going to get a reward for it. And they end up going to the gym and they start like pumping as much weight as humanly possible, or they start, you know, running as fast as they can on treadmills and cardio machines. And then

Jesucita Rey (07:56.379)
Lo and behold, either A, they hurt themselves because when you start out lifting weights or doing cardio or whatever, you actually have to work up to being able to lift heavy weights. You need to work up to being able to run, you know, a full on sprint. And people, because they're motivated and they've got that drive inside of them, they're just like, oh no, I'm going to go like a bat out of hell. Okay. And that causes problems. And the other aspect of that is to.

because they don't have the discipline behind them, within a week or two weeks, usually they quit the gym and they're back to their old ways. Okay? So some people are going to have to start out small when it comes to training yourself on being able to get over the fear of choice and change, of actually thinking of choice and change as a positive and not this thing that you are terrified to do.

Okay, and I'm not talking about, you don't have to be like me. You don't have to move away from your entire family and all of your friends and move across the United States. Or when my family and I left to go to France to live, you know, that's a whole nother country. It's, you know, not what you're used to. It's definitely not your comfort zone. It's definitely not something that, you know, it's definitely not home to you when you first get there, because it's all new. It's all change.

And we made the choice to do that, but it was all changed. So it was all different. But if we had gone into that thinking how fearful we were to go to France to live, then, oh dear God, that experience would have been absolutely horrible. Instead of thinking of, wow, this is going to be an adventure. I guess we're going to have to see where this goes. And if it ends badly, it ends badly. But we did it.

Okay. And like I said, I'm not saying that you have to go that big. It's not, you know, go big or go home right now. This is teaching you the tools that you need to use to make that life that you're looking for, for yourself, to get you where you need to be. The tools that I myself was never given. And I tell you that that's why this show is done because in my life, when I set out on my own, I did not have the tools that I needed in order to succeed in my life. Okay.

Jesucita Rey (10:19.209)
I did not have those tools. When I was a kid, the job that you were going to hopefully, hopefully get in life was working the line at Ford Motor Company, putting the cars together. That was, and there's nothing wrong with that job. My father did that job. He supported his family. And back in that day, it was an amazing job. It paid really, really well.

But as a kid, that was basically my only avenue. If I was going to be able to provide for my family, if I was going to be able to have any type of life whatsoever, I was going to have to go work the line, putting the cars together. Okay. And that was it. That's what everybody that I knew who was going to strive to get a job was going to go do because that's what paid the most. That was what was going to support your family. And instead of doing that,

I packed up when I was 20 and moved to California. Since then, I've moved all over California. I've lived in Arizona. I've lived in France. I've got to live in Bali, Indonesia for two months. So, and any of those things could have gone horribly wrong. And I'm not going to shit you, bad things did happen during certain journeys that I've had in my life. So it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

You're going to have some times where you fall down. The point is you have to pick yourself back up. And that is a choice. That is a choice to pick yourself back up. It is a choice. You make a million choices every single day. Now, some of them are just normalcy's to you, but you know, you choose whether or not you go to the gym, you choose whether or not you get up on time in order to get to work on time. You choose the foods that you're going to put in your body, whether or not they're going to make you sick or they're going to make you healthy.

You choose the time that you're going to put into your day for your kids, for yourself, for working on that dream that you want. And I know that life is fucking hard and there's a lot of shit going on and we're constantly always busy and most of the time it feels like we don't even have a second to breathe. Okay. I totally get that. I totally get that. Don't let the fear, the crippling fear that you feel for choice.

Jesucita Rey (12:38.087)
change to stop you from driving yourself forward to live the life that you want because I tell you all the time you are so worth it you are so amazing you are so wonderful so fantastic stop letting the world stop you from getting to that potential that you need to be out where your life is supposed to be at okay stop letting the world stop you stop letting that voice inside your head stop you stop letting the fear

of choice and change stop you. Okay? You are wonderful. You are fabulous. I am in your corner. You have somebody rooting you on that you are going to make it in this world. And sooner or later, that voice inside your head is going to flip and you're going to be telling yourself these things, that you're a bad ass, that you're capable, that you're wonderful, that you can do anything, anything that you want.

your life to be. All right? I'll see you in the next episode.